I don't know about you, but when they first introduced bottled water, I thought it was so funny, I was like "Bottled water! Haha, they're selling bottled water! ... I guess I'll try it. Ah, this is good, this is more watery than water. Yeah, this has got a water kick to it."

I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show that's based around my comedy.

I really don't care about birthdays. It's something where even as a kid, I never really felt comfortable when someone would sing to me.

What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll break out the ketchup. Grandma's birthday, make her feel special"

Weight Watchers says nothing tastes better than thin feels. I can think of a thousand things that taste better than thin feels.

"I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody

My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to . Who wants to ?'