I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? "You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins." "You sure?" "Trust me. Just do it son!"

There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.

Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.

It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things.

There's a certain balance between finding an opportunity to do what you really enjoy and getting caught up in the flattery of people wanting you to do things.