God built the world, but he did not know it was round.

I want to make people think, and I don't want to come across like I am egotistical or that I want to change people's thoughts. I don't believe that as a comic I can convert anyone's opinion. I think I can maybe make someone look in one direction or the other but I can't make a religious person stop believing in God.

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

I always get a little bit pissed off when stand-up comedy is not recognised as being as good a craft as being an actor. We give Oscars to people and it's like, 'Aw, this person is the greatest person on earth', but being an actor is pretty easy in comparison to stand-up comedy. It's no surprise that several stand-up comics have gone on to become great actors. I don't know any great actors that have gone on to become great stand-up comics.

We have a drinking game in Australia, it's called drinking.

I don't think I've ever prayed in my entire life, never sat and had an imaginary chat with God.

No matter how successful I got, my mother still thinks I'm a bad person, basically.