Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa.

No matter how successful I got, my mother still thinks I'm a bad person, basically.

I don't write my standup on paper or anything; but I just organically do it on stage, have an idea, chat it up a little bit. I'm keeping notes. I'm trying to keep up with this world and try to bring out a special every year.

There's a lot of guys up there who like wearing a suit or try doing jokes that they think will play to a certain crowd, or maybe get them corporate work. I've always written jokes that I would want to hear. So, I'm trying to entertain myself more than anything.

I don't think I've ever prayed in my entire life, never sat and had an imaginary chat with God.

Here's the thing about people who believe in god... They're idiots.

I was 13 when I was started questioning and 16 when I stopped believing in God.