Here's the thing about people who believe in god... They're idiots.

I don't think I've ever prayed in my entire life, never sat and had an imaginary chat with God.

Every comedian is just doing the comedy they find funny. This is me and it's not clean in any way. I could get a lot more work on TV playing clean but it's never interesting.

Having your own show, where you're not in trouble all the time, because you're kind of the boss, is a wonderful experience. If I made mistakes everyone was very nice to me.

I think only things that are personal to us offend us. It's always bizarre when people who would normally laugh at an AIDS joke won't laugh at a cancer joke, but far more people know somebody who's died from cancer.

I want to make people think, and I don't want to come across like I am egotistical or that I want to change people's thoughts. I don't believe that as a comic I can convert anyone's opinion. I think I can maybe make someone look in one direction or the other but I can't make a religious person stop believing in God.

If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.