The office of president is a bastardized thing, half royalty and half democracy that nobody knows whether to genuflect or spit.

Baseball isn't statistics, it's Joe DiMaggio rounding second base.

Journalism should be truthful and entertaining. You know, with news and important facts you can entertain people too. Have a little humor. Life isn't all that deadly all the time, but while you're having fun, tell the truth. If every word of a column is deadly serious, I can't read it. It makes me throw up.

Journalism schools are good to get a job, but I don't know what else they are good for. I don't like the word "journalism" to begin with. It's news reporting, and that consists of using your two feet. The only lesson, then, that you could give people is how to climb stairs, because there are no stories on the first floor.

Precious was one of a large number of people on the street, many of whom appeared to be women; some, like Precious, actually were.

Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover.

The test of a good idea is its ability to last through a hangover