The Senate came one vote short of granting approval to build the Keystone pipeline. Democrats say the pipeline could accelerate global warming. Then people who've been outside today said, 'Sounds good to me. Let's accelerate that global warming.'

Republican candidate Ben Carson told reporters he thinks American prisons might be too comfortable. As opposed to Mexican prisons that have personal showers with $5 million escape tunnels.

A girl in New York whose parents were on Wife Swap is suing the show for 100-million dollars for making her look like a spoiled brat. Note to girl: guess what else makes you look like a spoiled brat? Being 15 and suing for a hundred million dollars.

We have a really, really great dog. It doesn't bark. My dog almost smiles, which is weird. He's just a very happy dog.

Got Bin Laden AND interrupted Celebrity Apprentice? Win for Obama all around.

When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can't sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.

We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something.