I used to do bell ringing in Benenden church. It was really good fun, actually. My best friend's dad was the local vicar, and so it was expected as her best friend that I would go to church every Sunday with her.

One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.

I like to read my diary occasionally to remind myself what a miserable, alienated old sod I used to be.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work.

The problem with comedy audiences - it's like the Coliseum - when they see someone struggling, they don't feel altruistic towards them. They feel slightly repulsed by it.

I went on the pill when I was 16, put on four stone... so that proved to be a very effective contraceptive.