I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples.

Whatever situation you are in, that is what is normal for you.

I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it.

An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking.

My dad's a very sensitive man, but as the archetypal rebellious teenager, I didn't realise that.

Everyone in comedy thinks if you go to the U.S. you become a global star but, unfortunately, I've always been a bit anti-American - so I never did.

My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.