Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.

On my left knee I have a long scar from an ACL operation. I've had both knees reconstructed.

When women go to see men strip, we never accuse you of hating men.

It's a very strange thing when you make nature illegal.

If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.

If Tyson Griffin was a girl, I'd say he has a badonkadonk.

So instead of investing your time in a passion, you’ve sold your life to work for an uncaring machine that doesn’t understand you. That’s the problem with our society. And what’s the reward? Go home and get a big TV.