Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.

I’m afraid of heights. Not unreasonably, but rationally afraid of heights. I think everyone is.

We have to start treating each other as if we are treating ourselves living another life.

The Universe rewards calculated risk and passion

I've done jiujitsu a huge chunk of my life, and I try to spend a lot of time educating people on the nuances, the subtleness of the ground game. It's a big part of mixed martial arts.

There's a classic story I tell about when I did the Man Show about the retarded conversations that you have with the executive producers and the network.

Most of my bits are long stream-of-consciousness- type things, and when I'm doing them onstage, other places to take the theme or idea will hit me, and I just go with it.