I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.

I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.

Yes, believe me I am black and blue. Plus I just finished a Seth MacFarlane movie called Ted and I can't believe the cast I got to work with there [Mila Kunis, Mark Wahlberg]. I feel like I am winning some kind of contest to trick people into working with me.

I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor.

My intention with The Soup was to hopefully follow in the footsteps of past hosts, like Greg Kinnear. The pedigree of that show was really good and if it could just get me into some of those audition rooms I've always wanted to get into that I could not get into, then I would be very happy.

I'm very happy and being raised Catholic I assume it will end tomorrow. The rug will be pulled out from under me and someone will say, now go to your real job, shoveling poop somewhere.

Well, that would be a title [the busiest guy in Hollywood] still reserved for Ryan Seacrest. I have one assistant; he has about nine. I don't have a food taster yet, I don't have a fluffer either. But, yes there are some days when I don't know if I am coming or going.