I have a form of ESP that allows me to consistently pick losing lottery numbers, and generally make poor life choices.

It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty. I am gonna drink it through this crazy straw.

I am writing to apply for the position of bookkeeper. Attached, you will find my list of qualifications. I have been keeping books for four years now, and I am never going to give them back.

If at first you don't succeed...run.

And when our sun explodes and we are all destroyed, we'll be rocks and chunks of I am not sure what, and maybe we'll rain down on somewhere else.

I feel the way bank robbers must feel before they go out on that last job that ends up getting them all killed. That is to say, optimistic.

I'd rather die terrified than live forever.