I have a form of ESP that allows me to consistently pick losing lottery numbers, and generally make poor life choices.

I never wanted anything to happen to my parents, but a hero needs an origin story.

If at first you don't succeed...run.

The family that prays together, still probably dies in the fire.

I am writing to apply for the position of bookkeeper. Attached, you will find my list of qualifications. I have been keeping books for four years now, and I am never going to give them back.

And when our sun explodes and we are all destroyed, we'll be rocks and chunks of I am not sure what, and maybe we'll rain down on somewhere else.

You are never so low that you deserve to be lower.