In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.

The toughest thing about homework is getting mom and pop to agree on the same answer.

Most people play a fair game of golf - if you watch them.

It's not like you can wake up and realize, 'Oh, I want intimacy,' and then it happens that day.

Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.

I don't think I was fully satisfied acting. You know, the girlfriend role or the best friend role, and that wasn't enough for me.

A genius is one who can do anything except make a living.