If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'

English television from the Fifties to the Nineties was the least bad in the world, and now it's just as bad as it is anywhere.

It’s only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve.

When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.

The great thing about Florida is you - each city's about two hours' drive from everywhere else.

I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive.

Your Mother was A Hamster and you Father Smelled of elder berries.