When you get to my age, and I'm 66 now, you realize that the world is a madhouse and that most people are operating in fantasy anyway. So once you realise that, it doesn't bother you much.

If you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick.

Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers - which is why almost no technology ever works.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste; it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.

We all die at the end, but does that nullify everything? Would most people rather say, "I wish I hadn't been born?" Once you're born you'll have to die, now is that funny or sad?

The English contribution to world cuisine: the chip.