Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted.

When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.

Political correctness is a bit like a granny, a maiden aunt arriving at a party when everyone's having a good time. And she comes in, they all start sort of buttoning up and becoming self-conscious and behaving properly and then when she leaves, you can have fun again.

My mum died about three years ago at the age of 101, and just towards the end, as she began to run out of energy, she did actually stop trying to tell me what to do most of the time.

If you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick.

It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.