Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me.

I learned a lot of things about literature talking to people at the publishing company. Did you know that about 90 percent of celebrity autobiographies are ghostwritten?

I would like to do my own eulogy, and then shoot myself and then get in the coffin.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me.

The trouble with the British is that they are not interested in ideas. If Jesus came back today and offered to speak for an hour on British television, they would say, "What! Another talking head?

I can never do better than 'Fawlty Towers,' whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.