Nixon was a conservative who’s way more liberal than his party can admit, and Obama’s a liberal who’s way more conservative than his party can admit.

America doesn't have an abortion problem - it has an unwanted pregnancy problem, and an abortion symptom.

I will kill the BackStreet Boys by beating them with the members of N-Sync.

Anti-Tax fetishist Grover Norquist owns a bust of Ronald Reagan, who raised taxes 11 times.

The greatest threat to America is not foreign terrorists, its domestic morons.

Impeach President Reagan retroactively for agreeing with Obama on the assault weapons ban.

Blaming Obama for Iraq violence is like blaming Daniel Craig because Octopussy sucked.