Nixon was a conservative who’s way more liberal than his party can admit, and Obama’s a liberal who’s way more conservative than his party can admit.

The greatest threat to America is not foreign terrorists, its domestic morons.

I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out.

Impeach President Reagan retroactively for agreeing with Obama on the assault weapons ban.

My mother was an ex-nun, and my father was a Franciscan brother, so I grew up believing in Jesus the way anyone would believe in Mom's first husband.

We live in a country where voting rights get gutted but Sharknado gets a sequel.

If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor, then stop saying that you want a country based on Christian values. Because you don't!