If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor, then stop saying that you want a country based on Christian values. Because you don't!

Stand-up led to me doing solo shows, which led to me being offered my first broadcasting job, being a VJ.

I will kill the BackStreet Boys by beating them with the members of N-Sync.

Can we please rename The Sandy Relief Bill to the Supplemental Iraq War Funding Bill so the GOP Congress can vote for it?

Nixon was a conservative who’s way more liberal than his party can admit, and Obama’s a liberal who’s way more conservative than his party can admit.

Loving the Second Amendment while opposing the NRA is every bit as natural as loving Jesus while opposing Westboro Baptist Church.

Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus.