I will kill the BackStreet Boys by beating them with the members of N-Sync.

Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus.

If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor, then stop saying that you want a country based on Christian values. Because you don't!

Loving the Second Amendment while opposing the NRA is every bit as natural as loving Jesus while opposing Westboro Baptist Church.

The problem is that people love music and they love television, but people don't love music on TV.

Being gay is natural. Hating gay is a lifestyle choice.

I enjoy growth; I enjoy having a lot of different experiences. And I don't think I am the kind of guy who'd like to do the same thing every day for 40 years.