The greatest threat to America is not foreign terrorists, its domestic morons.

Blaming Obama for Iraq violence is like blaming Daniel Craig because Octopussy sucked.

Nixon was a conservative who’s way more liberal than his party can admit, and Obama’s a liberal who’s way more conservative than his party can admit.

America doesn't have an abortion problem - it has an unwanted pregnancy problem, and an abortion symptom.

But Al Jazeera America represents something more than news that isn’t profit or ratings driven — they represent foreign investment in a country where the two-party system outsourced your jobs. They represent facts over opinion and they represent our cultures coming together just a little more, whether you bigots like it or not.

I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out.

If you were a freak as a kid, you're an interesting adult.