Just spend a few more months playing video games. That hand-eye coordination will come in handy when you get to third base.

I think people who are religious are more likely to want one around, but it's a very secular position.

I thought being an adult meant knowing what you believe, but that has not been my experience.

Love is the most common miracle.

Why don’t we break up? I guess I stay with her because she stays with me. And that’s not an easy thing to do.

What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.

The Colonel explained to me that 1. this was Alaska's room, and that 2. she had a single room because the girl who was supposed to be her roommate got kicked out at the end of last year, and that 3. Alaska had cigarettes, although the Colonel neglected to ask whether 4. I smoked, which 5. I didn't.