But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness

Do you know what your problem is? You can't live with the idea that someone might leave.

The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.

If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all.

I mean, it’s stupid to miss someone you didn’t even get along with. But I don’t know, it was nice, you know, having someone you could always fight with.

He may be a malevolent sorcerer, but Tiny Cooper is his own goddamned man, and if he wants to be a gigantic skipper, then that's his right as a huge American.

Those of us who frequent the band room have long suspected that Becca maintains her lovely figure by eating nothing but the souls of kittens and the dreams of impoverished children.