but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever.

Doing stuff never feels as good as you hope it will feel.

but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever.

Me: "If you want me to be a teenager, don't send me to Support Group. Buy me a fake ID so I can go to clubs, drink vodka, and take pot." Mom: "You don't take pot, for starters." Me: "See, that's the kind of thing I'd know if you got me a fake ID.

Tiny, the next time that you try to set me up with a girl with a secret boyfriend can you at least INFORM me that she has a secret boyfriend? Also, if you don't call me back within five minutes, I'm going to assume you found a way back to Evanston. Furthermore, you are an asshat. That is all.

I thought being an adult meant knowing what you believe, but that has not been my experience.

"Please stop," I said. "You're upsetting the black Santas."