You may be smart, but I've been smart longer.

In retrospect Hank I don't know why I spent four years writing this book when I could have just made a hit sing-a-ma-jig album.

You couldn't be more wrong," I said. "You are buying into the cross-stitched sentiments of your parents' throw pillows. You're arguing that the fragile, rare thing is beautiful simply because it is fragile and rare. But that's a lie, and you know it." "You're a hard person to comfort," Augustus said. "Easy comfort isn't comforting," I said.

Doing stuff never feels as good as you hope it will feel.

You may choose your song, but know this: Tiny. Cooper. Hates. Over. The. Rainbow.

I feel like crying, so I must be crying, but it's impossible to tell because I'm underwater.

...Kaitlyn never wore open-toed shoes on account of how she hated her feet because she felt her second toes were too long, as if the second toe was a window into the soul or something.