We landed, in fact, parallel to a canal, like there were two runways: one for us and one for waterfowl.

It's more impressive," I said out loud. "From a distance, I mean. You can't see the wear on things, you know? You can't see the rust or the weeds or the paint cracking. You see the place as someone once imagined it.

We're going to get gored to death by a feral fugging hog and your best strategy is to pretend it's a grizzly bear?

What the hell is instant? Nothing is instant.

It's not fair," I said. "It's just so goddamned unfair." "The world," he said, "is not a wishgranting factory.

By far the best cure for hangovers is not drinking excessively the night before.This cure has a 100% success rate, and as you save the cost of the drinks you would have otherwise drunk, it is cheaper than free.

What's the point in being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? How very odd, to believe God gave you life, and yet not think that life asks more of you than watching TV.