Colin did not laugh. Instead he thought, Tampons have strings? Why? Of all the major human mysteries - God, the nature of the universe, etc. - he knew the least about tampons. To Colin, tampons were a little bit like grizzly bears: he was aware of their existence, but he'd never seen on in the wild, and didn't really care to.

The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I've got sarcastic company.

You should see it. V for Vendetta I mean. "I'll look it up." No. With Me. At my house. Now

The only thing worse than having a party that no one attends is having a party attended only by two vastly, deeply uninteresting people.

But it is a pipe." "No, it's not," I said. It's a drawing of a pipe. Get it? All representations of a thing are inherently abstract. It's very clever.

Just spend a few more months playing video games. That hand-eye coordination will come in handy when you get to third base.

When I look at my room, I see a girl who loves books.