I never stopped feeling abject terror until I got on television and went on a national ad campaign and realized, "I will be able to feed my children. I have somehow averted the destiny that awaited me, which is endless, crippling debt forever."

To want to become the President is, I think, such a bizarre ambition that it is automatically deranging.

A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

Part of the transaction between writer and reader is the pleasure of building a community and encouraging people to play along.

I am not beautiful, so I don't know why I'm making myself ugly. But the mustache stays.

I say, if you're going to eat a creature alive, you have to expect some screaming. That is the carnivore's burden.

Even in my own life, there are memories I have that are difficult to explain - happenings that are so odd and unaccountably weird, that it is difficult to imagine they were not the result of prolonged and frequent contact with aliens throughout my life.