I love Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart because they're bringing irony back into American humor, which is a delicious treat. The entire Colbert persona of being extreme right-wing when he's not at all is highly amusing. He does it so well, but sometimes a little too well. My wife is convinced he's completely that way.

I have no time for lies and fantasy, and neither should you. Enjoy or die.

My way of thinking as I approach any human being on this planet is, 'What are you doing now?' That's what interests me. I don't come at anybody with a whole bunch of assumptions.

I don't like walking in the street and seeing 30,000 copies of myself.

The only good political movement I've seen lately was Occupy Wall Street. They had no leaders, which was genius. But unfortunately it always ends up with some hippy playing a flute.

I've done no harm to no one. In fact, I think I've improved the world.

This is a very difficult thing to remain independent and persistent.