Look, demanding somebody do anything in this day and age is not going to fly.

If I wake up in the morning and I don't want to get you a coffee or if I don't see you for a week and I don't want to go figure out something to FedEx you, then we've got a problem. You can fake the words I miss you, but you can't fake getting someone a book.

I've realized you can use a fork as a spoon if you use it rapidly enough.

[on Jessica Simpson] Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.

I've learned to appreciate everything that has been given to me.

The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when sad tries to bite its lip and not cry, and smile and say, "No I'm happy for you"? Thats when it's really sad.

The tweets are getting shorter, but the songs are still 4 minutes long. You're coming up with 140-character zingers, and the song is still 4 minutes long…I realized about a year ago that I couldn't have a complete thought anymore. And I was a tweetaholic. I had four million twitter followers, and I was always writing on it. And I stopped using twitter as an outlet and I started using twitter as the instrument to riff on, and it started to make my mind smaller and smaller and smaller. And I couldn't write a song.