My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong; now I think that's why I remain so greatly in his debt.

Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.

Rumpole, you must move with the times." "If I don't like the way the times are moving, I shall refuse to accompany them.

The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed, saying: There is life, but it's not for you.

It is desperately important to remember when enough is enough, when you've finished the scene.

We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.

When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.