What obsesses a writer starting out on a lifetime's work is the panic-stricken search for a voice of his own.

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.

I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.

The law seems like a sort of maze through which a client must be led to safety, a collection of reefs, rocks, and underwater hazards through which he or she must be piloted.

When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.

There is always time for failure

On the three pigs he and his wife own: "We acquired the pigs last year. My wife was born on a pig farm and has always been very fond of pigs. Of course, they are for eating, which is why they are named Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. You wouldn’t want to eat Rufus, Marcus and Esmeralda.