The secret of good health and happiness is to have rather small illnesses throughout your life which you can rely on to stop you doing anything you don't want to do.

I don't believe in children's books. I think after you've read Kidnapped, Treasure Island, and Huckleberry Finn, you're ready for anything.

The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed, saying: There is life, but it's not for you.

Never shake hands with colleagues in court; the customers think you're making deals.

We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

The old middle-class prerogative of being permanently in a most filthy temper.