We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.

Loyalty to the school to which your parents pay to send you seemed to me like feeling loyalty to Selfridges.

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors.

I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.

Irritable Judges suffer from a bad case of premature adjudication.

There's more of yourself in a book than a play. that's why we know all about Dickens and not much about Shakespeare. Ben Jonson murdered people; Marlowe was a spy; Shakespeare just sat in the corner and took notes.