When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.

No power on earth, however, can abolish the merciless class distinction between those who are physically desirable and the lonely, pallid, spotted, silent, unfancied majority.

Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.

The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.

The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.

My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong; now I think that's why I remain so greatly in his debt.

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.