On the three pigs he and his wife own: "We acquired the pigs last year. My wife was born on a pig farm and has always been very fond of pigs. Of course, they are for eating, which is why they are named Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. You wouldn’t want to eat Rufus, Marcus and Esmeralda.
John MortimerThe worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed, saying: There is life, but it's not for you.
John MortimerAll the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.
John Mortimer