Never shake hands with colleagues in court; the customers think you're making deals.

I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.

Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake; all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have some sort of complaint that you were far happier not knowing about.

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.

I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.

Loyalty to the school to which your parents pay to send you seemed to me like feeling loyalty to Selfridges.

I don't believe in children's books. I think after you've read Kidnapped, Treasure Island, and Huckleberry Finn, you're ready for anything.