In every case, I find pre-planning noble, but not always that useful in comedy. You know comedy once you're doing it.

My standup persona is like I'll heighten things, but I'm observing the world as it is in sort of a heightened emotional state.

Being president looks like the worst job in the world.

Understudies don't normally get invited to openings.

It's nice when you're nervous and everybody's like, "Yeah, you should be nervous." Because a lot of times you're anxious and people say, "Relax. Shut up." And that just feels like, Well, I guess I'm also crazy.

You all have a relative who is an expert even though they really don't know what they're talking about.

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.