With the first episode [of John Mulaney Show] I tell a story that happened to me accidentally chasing a woman down the subway.

It was funny to be an emcee, because you're so at the mercy of the club. You can show up for the weekend hoping to get the $400 - and get fired. I had to prank whoever they told me to prank.

You all have a relative who is an expert even though they really don't know what they're talking about.

There's [John Mulaney Show] jokes that I have in stand up that I wouldn't try to put in, I would try to have someone just speak extemporaneously in the middle of a scene about an episode of "Law and Order" or something.

Being president looks like the worst job in the world.

I'm a very straightforward person. But that's fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you're talking about everyone else.

An episode that is near and dear to my heart is the entire cast in one room for the night because we get bed bugs in our apartment building so we have to stay with Martin Short.