Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines

I remember writing standup jokes without having done sets. But as soon as I did my first set, it didn't matter. Everything I thought would work didn't work. And everything I was iffy on was funny.

I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?

I was just trying to blend the standup that I do almost with like the visual sketch stuff that I did on "Saturday Night Live." And so in terms of how elastic in the world is, we'll see what we can get away with [in John Mulaney show].

I never turn on the crowd. Sometimes, you think it's a terrible show, and then afterward, sometimes people say they really liked it. So turning on the crowd is only going to alienate the few people who might like it.

Things don't exist until they exist.

I wish I could go tell 12-year-old me like I don't worry that you just fainted in front of all the girls, one day you'll be able to make this into an episode of TV.