George Bernard Shaw writes like a Pakistani who has learned English when he was twelve years old in order to become an accountant.

It is easy to answer the ultimate questions - it saves you bothering with the immediate ones.

And even in the hatred of the majority, there's a kind of triumph because I know that, although they'd never admit it, they secretly respect me.

Let's pretend that we're human beings and that we're actually alive.

Heroes, whatever high ideas we may have of them, are mortal and not divine. We are all as God made us and many of us much worse.

I never deliberately set out to shock, but when people don't walk out of my plays I think there is something wrong.

The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a childminder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.