George Bernard Shaw writes like a Pakistani who has learned English when he was twelve years old in order to become an accountant.

Heroes, whatever high ideas we may have of them, are mortal and not divine. We are all as God made us and many of us much worse.

Here we are, we're alone in the universe, there's no God, it just seems that it all began by something as simple as sunlight striking on a piece of rock. And here we are. We've only got ourselves. Somehow, we've just got to make a go of it. We've only ourselves.

I never deliberately set out to shock, but when people don't walk out of my plays I think there is something wrong.

Oh heavens, how I long for a little ordinary human enthusiasm. Just enthusiasm - that's all. I want to hear a warm, thrilling voice cry out Hallelujah! Hallelujah! I'm alive!

I must say it's pretty dreary living in the American Age - unless you're an American of course. Perhaps all our children will be Americans.

In London, love and scandal are considered the best sweeteners of tea.