When you lose someone you love, you die too, and you wait around for your body to catch up.

The story of how I left Huckleberry begins -- as do all worthy stories -- with a goat

Now, you may think that this is some sort of generalized hatred that I will carry for the lot of you. Let me assure you that this is not the case. Each of you will fail, but you will fail in your own unique way, and therefore I will dislike each of you on an individual basis.

The Scooby gang doesn't travel because they are looking for crimes to solve. They travel because they're one step ahead of the deprogrammers. Somehow, Fred's got them all snookered. It probably has something to do with the Scooby Snacks.

Reddit is not a public utility or a public square; its a privately owned space on the Internet.

I'm not insane, sir. I have a finely calibrated sense of acceptable risk.

Guns don’t kill people. The aliens behind the triggers do.