I thought I saw him once, but it turned out to be a yeti

Star Wars is not entertainment. Star Wars is George Lucas masturbating to a picture of Joseph Campbell and conning billions of people into watching the money shot.

You would rather face a life without me than to have me choose a life I would not choose for myself.

The story of how I left Huckleberry begins -- as do all worthy stories -- with a goat

If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it's best to meet it with an empty bladder.

Now, you may think that this is some sort of generalized hatred that I will carry for the lot of you. Let me assure you that this is not the case. Each of you will fail, but you will fail in your own unique way, and therefore I will dislike each of you on an individual basis.

When you're a kid all you want to do is be somewhere else.