I couch-surfed for years. But I always wanted to live in Baltimore; I still do. If I had to choose, it would always be Baltimore.

I've signed peoples' parole cards at book signings and it's very touching.

If your kid comes out of the bedroom and says he just shut down the government, it seems to me he should at least have an outfit for that.

People vomitied at my movies; not because of the movie but because they were drunk. I took credit anyway.

Yeah, I know I should be fighting for gay rights, but who wants to join the army or get married anyway?

What's fascinating to me is that in rich-kid schools, it's better to be gay. No one is discriminated against because they're gay in a rich-kid school. But in poor-kid schools, it's often not the same. So being gay is a class issue now.

I care about the presidential elections. I always vote. Sometimes I've voted more than once, illegally. But you can't anymore. The picture ID has ruined everything.