If you're not sure you could love your children, please don't have them, because they might grow up and kill us.

Many hundred-million-dollar Hollywood comedies aren't any good. They're trying to shock you.

You have to remember that it is impossible to commit a crime while reading a book.

I'd rather have a daughter in a whorehouse than a son in the police force,' Esther used to rage to anyone who would listen.

If you can make someone laugh who's dead set against you, that's the first step to winning them over to your side.

If you're not sure you could love your children, please don't have them, because they might grow up and kill us.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.