I think that's why I've lasted this long because I love everything I make fun of! I make fun of myself first! I mean, I started my career by calling my films "trash" - the local critics used to complain that I beat the critic to the typewriter.

I tried heroin. I shot up in high school, but I just thought it was so dreary: puking and nodding.

I always wanted to be a juvenile delinquent but my parents wouldn't let me.

How come there's no terrorism with humor, which is a great way to humiliate your enemy? It's a great time for that.

You go to school to figure out who you want to be and how you can do it, and [maybe] I should have, because the films would probably be technically better.

I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal.

If you want to be an artist, go to every art gallery, if you want to be in movies, see movies! You have to participate in whichever world you're trying to enter! You have to know what's going on. You can be the best artist in the world but if you don't know one thing about which gallery to go to, you're never going to get it shown in the right place. Learn a little bit about the business of whichever art you're trying to get into. Without it, you will be lost.