When you come to see a picture of mine, I want you to know that I'm not going to do anything that will make you uncomfortable. I want you to know that you won't be disappointed in me.

I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble.

Slap some bacon on a biscuit and let's go! We're burnin' daylight!

A man is no better than he has to be.

I didn't vote for him, but he's my President, and I hope he does a good job.

Life's tough. It's even tougher when you are stupid.

I believe humor nullifies violence.