I don't think I'd have any friends if I didn't obscure at least 99% of my thoughts.

I don’t need someone to complete me, I need someone to make things a little bit better every now and again.

It is so much easier to grieve for the dead than to care for the living. At least in death we are all perfect.

The last time I went back to a girl's house for an impromptu house party I spent most of the night straightening out rugs, putting down coasters and alphabetising DVDs while all around me people got off with whoever was closest and gradually headed off to various rooms to make more mess, no doubt.

I love paying tax so much, the sight of a gritter lorry gives me an erection.

There is simply too much to be done for us all to go round 'enjoying ourselves.' When the world is perfect, then we can all sit down and eat jelly beans, but for now the fact that things are going well for you just means that you are in a position to alleviate someone else's suffering for a while.

I don't think I'd have any friends if I didn't obscure at least 99% of my thoughts.