Give me back the $800 billion for the Iraq war and children's television PBS is on the house.

I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.

[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.

There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.

Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.

The Oscars is the one night of the year when you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic Party

Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?