To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.
Jon StewartI watch a lot of astronaut movies....Mostly Star Wars. And even Han and Chewie use a checklist.
Jon StewartIf America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?
Jon StewartPeople always say, when did you realize you were funny? And I think it's not that you realize you were funny. It's that you're brain works in a certain way. And I don't think that that's - I think in some respects it's uncontrollable, and you can either accept it and deal with it and hone it or you can try to fight it. And I was too weak to fight it.
Jon Stewart